I was in my pediatrician's office a few weeks ago for J2's five year well check and after telling him the following story he asked "is there anything you don't do?" The simple answer is: No. I will do and continue to do anything and everything I possibly can to help my child. It was what I was biologically made for and it is who I am in my soul. I didn't just impart 50% of my genetic material to an offspring. I am raising my boy. And sometimes that takes me out of my comfort level.
My youngest has sensory processing disorder, ADHD, and a speech delay. He is also "off-the-charts" big in height and weight. Which means he is a good inch or so taller than kids a year older than himself.
My oldest is also tall and I have had a few times when people expected him to behave better (when he was 3 and someone thought he was 5). Compound that with a child who is delayed both in speech and in his social interactions. He may look to be about 6 or so, but he acts and talks like a 4 year old.
He is very bright, his delays in speech are improving dramatically and with his twice-weekly occupational therapy sessions he is learning to adjust and control himself. He is still slightly behind socially but I have full confidence that he will catch up.
He attends a special needs preschool where he fits in beautifully but as I have mentioned before: things have not always gone well in the sports world.
http://survivingaftersudep.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-persepective-of-baseball.html
J2 is a bit clumsy, a bit impulsive, a bit loud, and a bit clingy to his mother. There are children who accept him as he is and play with him and there are children that shun him.
It is hard on a mother to see the latter happen. We may have given up on baseball but my son plays hockey. He is a very good skater and while he holds his stick incorrectly and ignores the puck in a hockey game: he is young and he will learn about the game soon enough.
What wasn't working out was the social aspect of the team. The team he is on are all young players 5 and 6 years old and in a short amount of time a group of older boys decided to target him. They teased him, taunted him and started to pick on him (knocking his stick away, taking the puck away during free skate). I could see this happen while I sat on the bleachers. I could see my child skating then have another boy talk to him. I could see my child's face contort in anger or sadness and I could see when he fell to the ice to cry and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
Until, I saw a boy hook his stick around my son's throat and drag him 5 feet. Then I went to the father, who happened to be a coach. It was nerve wracking but the father gave the event attention and respect and I felt better. I still didn't know what to do about what was going on but I was working with my child on not reacting to the taunts. Until my friend ASW suggested we become coaches too.
My hesitation was that:
1) I have never played hockey
2) I have never had skating lessons and
3) WTF?
I thought about it and within a week I agreed. I may not be a great skater but I can stay upright and I can learn hockey. So I took the coach's class, did the online modules and took my butt out on the ice. I'm not really a "coach" more like crowd control on the ice. The first day, after 20 minutes I thought my feet would fall off. Within 40 minutes they were frozen solid but at least they didn't hurt anymore so I was good. I am how a Level 1 Certified USA Hockey coach and skate every weekend with the team and with my son. He is doing great and there is no more teasing. No more taunting. In the locker room some of the kids, even one's that had been mean to him, have come over to talk with him and look at what he is doing.
There isn't anything I won't do for this boy. I am J's mother.
Sincerely,
Jeff's Widow
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