The Persepective of Baseball

If you don't have a child with sensory processing disorder or another special need this may be hard to grasp, but I'm going to try to explain it.

You adapt to the situation you are given and sometimes the changes are minor until suddenly you realize all the minors have added up into a major change.  This first hit me after Jeff died and I realized how much we had adapted to J2.  Situations could be so stressful for him and us because he did not handle change well that we often employed the "divide and conquer" method of parenting.  Where I would take J1 to his event and leave J2 at home with Jeff.  This had to end of course, after Jeff's death because now I needed to take J2 along with me to all of J1's events.  It was a big change for all of us, but I have found ways to deal with it all and live with it (and I challenge anyone to question my employment of a portable DVD player, Ipad or Nitendo DS).

Even with the OT, speech therapy, diet changes, doctor appointments, and special needs preschool I seem to harbor the mindset that J2 can do it all, just as J1 has.  It is interesting how our perspective can change. 

And it is all due to baseball.  I signed J2 up for tee ball in the spring.  He didn't do great (he was in the dirt about 70% of the time) and I'll be honest, I had a disagreement with an assistant coach at one point that left a sour taste in my mouth.  But towards the end of the season I thought he was doing better and he said he wanted to do it again.  So, I signed him up again this fall.  I should have known better.  The assistant coach is now the coach.  But I will say this: the coach has been great.  He has done the best he can with J2 and I am very happy with his coaching and his interaction with him.  It's J2 that hasn't been at his best this season.  And as I'm watching him spin in circles or try to head-butt the coach into the stomach I realized "maybe baseball just isn't his sport."

I also feel bad for my little guy.  The other night he was on first base, but a child of a much greater ability was in a position near him (in tee ball they are all bunched up on the diamond and not really in the outfield so this kid was in a spot half way between 1st and 2nd base).  That child could run to 1st and grab the ball all before J2 could.  And he did it EVERY STINKING TIME during the inning.  It got so that J2 cried.  And I was dying on the bench.  I knew what was happening.  He wanted the ball, it was his position, but he couldn't compete against the skills of this other kid who was "jumping" into his position. So what happens next is no surprise.  He had a fit, he also then started acting out more with the coaches (hence the head-butts).  I don't know how to explain this to the coach without sounding like a Bitch so I have kept my mouth shut, but it's hard.  It's hard to watch him struggle, to not have fun, to then be a pain in the butt for the coaches.  Baseball is just too stressful for me and I've been wracking my brain for another sport to try.  One that has more action and less downtime.  Something where he is not going to be in the position of unfairness that I have seen in two of his games already.  I'm thinking Tae Kwon Do... who knows. 

I just know that in the spring I am going to do everything in my power to convince him that it's OK if we don't do baseball.

Sincerely,

Jeff's Wife
J1 and J2's Momma