A Day Just Like Any Other

Missing Jeff is like walking around with a sword through my heart: you can't fathom how it keeps beating. 

And then there is Valentine's Day.  And you know what?  It is a day just like any other.  I miss him the same today as I have the past 353 days.  It isn't worse and it isn't better.  But I am alone.

Last Valentine's Day started off well.  Jeff had given my oldest a card and a heart shaped box of chocolate to give to me when he woke up.  Later that day, I got a delivery of flowers.  Then, the day turned wacky as only my days can.  Just before leaving to pick Jeff up at the train (remember, he couldn't drive for 6 months after the first seizure so he was taking the train into work) the power went off.  Now, the power had mysteriously been going off every Tuesday evening for 3 weeks.  Don't ask me why, I never figured it out.  But the transformer at the end of my street kept blowing for 3 weeks straight, only on Tuesdays.  So the power went out, I had to load the kids into the car and my oldest was having a meltdown of some sort.  I loaded my youngest into the car, had it running and the movie going (Kung Fu Panda) to keep him warm and happy while I went back to deal with whatever was ailing my oldest.  I returned to the car to discover that I had locked the keys in.  With my baby inside!

OK, I won't panic.  I dashed into the house to get Jeff's keys.  No keys.  What???  Why the H-E-double hockey sticks would he take his keys with him?  I gave him a call. No hello, just "Did you take your keys?"  He wasn't getting me.  I was screaming at this point.  "DID YOU TAKE YOUR CAR KEYS TODAY??!!!"  Finally, I had to tell him in a rush that I had locked the baby into the car because my question just didn't make sense to him.  Yes, he did take his keys.  Why?  Habit.  So there I was, baby locked inside the car, no power in the house and no way to A) pick Jeff up from the train or B) get the baby out of the car.  Time to freak out.

(ok, freak out over)

So, I'm standing by the car and I notice two things.  One, my oldest has stopped his fit.  He is very smart not to interfer with Mommy when she is in the middle of a freak-out and two, my youngest is perfectly happy eyes glued to the DVD.  I get about 200 calls from Jeff.  Namely, to keep me calm and make sure I don't bash a window out of the car in order to reach my baby.  Jeff knows me too well.  What mother wouldn't do such a thing?  Oh, and to make sure I didn't call 911 or something stupid like that.  Although, it sure as heck felt like an emergency.  Then he called roadside assistance, it would take them approximately 2 hours to get to me.  Then he called all our neighbors to see if anyone could check in on me and make sure I wasn't going to spontaneously combust over the issue.  Then he worked out how to get a cab from the train to home.

So, as the cab was coming closer to the house he beeped the car and poof!  I could reach my baby.  And surprisingly the power came back on too.

The end of the story?  Well, the babysitter arrived right about then, the power was on and I figured I deserved a margarita or two for my troubles so we still headed out for a Valentine's dinner.  I was still jumpy from locking the baby in the car.  But in the next few days all my Facebook friends piped in and I found out it isn't so rare to do this.  LOL.  Yes, I felt better knowing 5 other people had done the same thing.  OK?

I got my two margarita's and then we spent the evening doing the most romantic thing ever: our taxes.  True story!

This year, I will spend the day like any other.  Missing my husband, wondering how this could have happened to me, and holding my kids close.  There will be no chocolates, no cards, no flowers, no dinner out, no Jeff.  Happy Valentine's Day.

Sincerly,

Jeff's Wife