My baby turns five today. It doesn't seem possible. When I was in the trenches of babyhood with another toddler on my hip I was daydreaming about the day he turned five. Five meant kindergarten (we have all day kindergarten here). Now he's five and I want to turn back the clock.
I don't think anyone believed me when I said I was in labor. See, I'd had a few "false" calls in the weeks prior. Not my fault really, I'd been in "light" labor (yeah right) for weeks. A single contraction every 20 minutes. It made it hard to figure out if I was in labor or not. But the night of the 14th I was pretty sure I was in labor. My contractions were harder and getting closer together - I was a bit shy to pull the trigger on the labor call. I hate crying wolf. So I was a very nice wife and I let Jeff sleep.
Jeff had the start of a cold and was not feeling well, plus I knew from our first baby that he would be doing the bulk of the hospital work while I recovered from the C-section. So I let him sleep. He got up for work that Monday and showered and I came into the bathroom and asked him just how important his meeting was that day. I got a suspicious look and a question of "why?"
Jeff was a smart man and a smart man does not question a very pregnant lady who insists she is in labor (not if he wants to keep that body part men are fond of). So, while just about everything in his demeanor said he didn't buy it. Jeff never said a word against me and took us to the hospital. As time progressed a bit and he could see how often my contractions were coming, he came around to believing it as well. I can still remember his first phone call to the grandparents "It really is going to happen today! We just don't know when..."
My favorite pictures of the day are those of Jeff introducing J2 to J1. They really are special. J1 had been so excited about the baby but I think the hospital and all the tubes I was attached to scared him so he really clung to Jeff on that visit. There is an amazing picture of J1 holding J2 with the biggest smile on his face. If you look closely you can see Jeff's arm in the background as he was holding on as well but he picture is cropped in close so that you think J1 is just holding J2. It's special to me. Because of the love on J1's face. But also because of the care and attention Jeff showed by hovering so close to J1 while he held the baby. Poor Jeff was sick as a dog when J2 was born but he powered through the hospital stay like a champion.
This is J2's second birthday party without Jeff. I think of how Jeff loved the kid parties how excited he was over the big birthday celebration. Birthdays are a big deal for my boys. They actually get two parties, the kid party and the family party. It's a lot of work but it's a tradition Jeff set up that I am loathe to part with.
My baby turned five today and I am trying my best to find the joy in the day today that I had five years ago.
Sincerely,
Jeff's Widow
Ali, I remember the day so well also. If you recall I was in South Carolina when J1 was born. Jeff was so proud to tell me that J2's middle name was named after my father. He loved Pa Beaupre a lot. I was so proud. My memory of Jeff walking into the waiting room to tell me is as clear as if it was yesterday. Like you I wish it were so...
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