The Brag Letter

It is that time of year again: Christmas.  The time of year when you get Christmas cards, picture cards, and the occasional "Brag Letter".

You know the Brag Letter: the letter that details everything wonderful the family did that year.  I am guilty of doing it too in the past.  Especially the year I got married and the year J1 was born.  Such wonderful things to write about, and there was no Facebook back in the dark ages.

But what do you do if your year wasn't wonderful?  What do you say?  Do you drop the letter (I did) or do you struggle to find a way to spell out that you had a crap-tastic year.  Thank you very much.  Enjoy your holiday season and don't worry about me and my bummer of a letter.  I don't think so.

I like the picture cards.  I like receiving them.  I love to see how the kids are growing, how the families are doing.  I like the cards with the entire family the best, not just the kids.  I remember Jeff would pick up a card and ask "who is this?"  and I'd tell him so-in-so's kid and he'd get all mad that they weren't in the picture too.  He wanted to be able to recognize the kids based on the parents that were his friends or family.  I think he also wanted to see his friends.  I have to say that I agreed with him which is why I've tried to include family pictures and not just kid pictures on my cards. 

Last year, I still sent out a picture card.  I wanted to.  I did a collage card and because I needed to include Jeff: I did.  I included what I consider his memorial picture.

Unfortunately, this was how one friend of his learned of his death.  It was hard on him, it was hard on me when he called. 

This year, I did a picture card again but with a slightly different theme.  I included Jeff's spirit if not his actual picture.  I don't know how I feel about it still.  Part of me isn't happy and part of me is.  Jeff isn't hear in person, only in spirit so maybe it was the right way to go.  But does it honor him?  I don't know, I'm waiting for feedback.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to write a brag letter again.  I'll be honest, I don't know if I can read them either.  I wonder if one day one of Jeff's friends or relative with say "who the hell is this and why are they sending me a card?" because Jeff isn't in the picture and they don't recognize us with out him.

I don't want Jeff to be forgotten and in turn, I don't want his family to be forgotten either.  But I don't want to include his "death picture" or memorial picture either.  Maybe I just worry about the wrong things. 

Sincerely,

Jeff's Widow