Snow Days

I can't imagine an "event day" when I don't think of Jeff.  Think about what we did on a similar day.  What Jeff would have done on this day... like Snow Days.

(And not just because I have a tree that came down and needs some chainsaw work.)

But then again, maybe.  I was so accustomed to Jeff doing things like that around the house.  Jeff who was always willing to try to fix something and could read a manual or look up a process on the computer and then know how to do the project.

I don't know about you, but I can't do that on a regular basis.  But Jeff could.  Every time.  He could read a document and then take my car apart, strip it down into pieces to replace something.  He could read a PDF file and take the dishwasher apart to fix it.  The list goes on.  And I miss having my handy man around when stuff breaks or a tree falls on my fence.  Because we were partners.  There were things Jeff was good at and things I was good at and now I have to try to compensate for all that Jeff could do.  Like the stupid tree.  It's a big responsibility.

Shortly after Jeff and I bought our house we discovered that the house inspector was a complete idiot and that there were multiple major issues with the house.  Things that honestly would have made us back out of the contract or dropped the price on the house.  One of those is the non-working fireplace.  The first fall, I had the fireplace cleaned and inspected and discovered that it was in such bad repair that we could not use it.  I got a number of quotes to have the fireplace fixed but then Jeff put a hold on the project due to the cost.  We never got the fireplace fixed.

Now, when the power goes out in the winter (and it does for every blasted storm), I have no way to heat my house.  This was an issue this past snow when I was without power for 2 days.  It served as a reminder that what was not a priority when Jeff was around, may be one now.  I need to do some thinking about changing things that Jeff had a say in.  He was right 8 years ago, we didn't have the money to fix the fireplace.  However, now... I don't have the same resources (Jeff) to take care of my family in a blackout.  I need to make some changes.

But also, there is fun stuff.  I built a snowman with the boys, had a snowball fight, took them sledding (lots of Momma pushing them down the hill, but thankfully they are big enough to drag their sleds back up themselves).  The boys helped me scrape the driveway and those of 2 of my neighbors and at my parents house.  I saw so many things that Jeff would have done, so many chances for him to have with his boys in these past few days.  And I know being trapped in my house without power would have gone nicer with Jeff around to make it fun.  Instead, my tools to entertain and play with my kids have gotten rusty.

Snow days used to be fun.  Maybe after a few changes, they can be again...

Sincerely,

Jeff's Widow