"Dude... You're Dating Her"

Every year two friends of mine, AB and JB, from high school travel over 8 hours to spend the weekend in town and run 10 miles (yes, I think they are crazy).  This yearly tradition gives us a chance to chat, hang out and do nothing strenuous (they are running a race!) for a weekend other than renew our friendship.

It was no surprise, really, how seamlessly Jeff joined the group.  Maybe it was Jeff's personality, or maybe it's that nerds just flock together well, but Jeff was welcome with my friends.  He looked forward to these yearly visits as an opportunity to drink beer, talk about computers and electronics and/or the latest in kid toys.

Jeff never failed to come away from the weekends without learning something new, whether it is a new "adult" card game like Perplex City, a new electronic device, or a new (to him) computer game.  But one of my favorite stories boils down to something new Jeff learned about me.

Early on, maybe the first or second weekend visit, Jeff was asking a lot of questions trying to get some information on me and what I was like in high school.  It was funny and it gave the rest of us amble opportunity to reminisce about high school without being annoying to the one person who didn't attend with us.

Then Jeff asked "Hey!  Who was the scary girl in your school?  You know, the angry one that wore all black?"

I think AB was stunned, not sure if this was a joke or a real question, when he replied:

"Dude, you're dating her."

I laughed so hard I almost spit my beer out and it still makes me laugh to this day.  Poor Jeff, he really got set up on that one.  The look on his face was priceless.

My friends were in town again recently.  This was now the second year without Jeff and I felt his absence strongly.  I felt it at the beer festival that we attended (the one he found a few years ago and was thrilled that it was listed as "kid friendly" which turned out to be 2 bounce houses amid a plethora of beer tents).  I felt his absence when we were at dinner at one of his favorite restaurants (a brew house).  I felt his absence when talking about next years race and how he'd always vow to do the race in the next year but never did.  I missed the way he could monopolize the conversation into the geeky/nerd realm of computers and games.

I love AB and JB and that they travel so far every year so I can see them.  We had this traditional weekend for years before I even met Jeff but now I see how Jeff has left his impact upon it.  From a beer festival to restaurants we always choose to go to.  I'm just hoping this weekend becomes less painful for me in the future.

I would like to experience the joy of a friendly visit without the ghost of Jeff making me cry.

Sincerely,

Jeff's Widow