Why Didn't We Bury Daddy?

Out of the blue, my 6 year old ask that question.  Well, maybe it wasn't so out of the blue.  Thank you but no thank you Disney... it seems like the majority of movies we have seen, a parent has died.  I was horrified a few months after Jeff died, when I discovered that the movie Barnyard had a parental death half way through the movie.  I had not seen the movie and did not know about the death until the boys had seen the entire thing.  Lucky for me, they didn't seem to dwell on it the way I did.  But the movie did not return to our line-up.  Last Friday, we were watching a new movie and yet again, the father had died (why do I not know these things?).  So I can see where J1 got to thinking about his father.

So he asks me:

Why didn't we bury Daddy?

And I get back to the difficult spot of how much to explain and how much is too much to know. 

I had Jeff cremated.  It is what he and I both wanted.  But I never expected to have to try to explain cremation to a 6 year old.  I told him that they made Daddy very small so that he would fit into the urn. 

How? 

I was stuck.  I try not to lie about the big stuff so I was honest.  I told him that they burned his body to ashes.  But that Daddy didn't feel anything because it was just his body, his soul was already in Heaven with Jesus.

But that doesn't answer why didn't we bury Jeff.  I know I wrote about this before.  I've been thinking of a tree in an ecoternity forest.  I just didn't know how to broach that with the kids.  So, here I dove in.  And I told J1 about the forest and the trees and burying Daddy under the trees.  Did he like the idea? 

Yes.

Will he help me pick out a tree?

Yes.

So now I have a day-trip to make this summer.  Where I take the boys to a forest and pick out a tree for Jeff.  It is something I had planned to do.  It is something I've been avoiding.  But that is the interesting thing about kids.  They can move you forward when you least expect it.

I will make plans to bury Daddy and I am left to wonder what the next question will be...

Sincerely,

Jeff's Wife