Father's Day

Last year, Father's Day was like jumping from an airplane without a parachute.  The pain was too new, too raw, too overwhelming.  J1 had just started his angry phase and I was a zombie.  I didn't want to deal so I decided that Father's Day didn't exist.  I told my FIL and my father that we weren't going to do a Father's Day celebration.  I made plans to be out of town that weekend.

Then the boys came down with the hand/foot/mouth plague.  We stayed home.  The day came and went.  We didn't go to church, we didn't see anyone, we didn't listen to the radio or have the TV on so the boys didn't know what the day was.

But I knew. I suffered.

This year, I decided that we can't avoid the things that hurt us.  That's easy enough to say when you are (ahem) 40 but it's another thing when you are 7.  I know this.  But I also know that I can't always protect my children from the things that hurt them.  I can help them deal with that pain.  Learn how to cope and to move forward. 

So that was Father's Day this year.  I started by telling J1 that the day was coming up and that we would be having dinner with his grandfather.  A few days later, he asked me to point the day out on the calendar.  I've checked in a few times over the week to see how he is processing.  So far, so good.  I'm processing OK.  There aren't as many commercials about Father's Day as there are about Mother's Day but it is still in the media, still on facebook and pinterest.

Father's Day will never be a good day for us because Jeff is not here.  However it doesn't have to be a day to dread or to avoid.  Someday, I'll figure out what to do on this day to memorialize Jeff.  Right now, I'm just trying to survive it.

Sincerely,

Jeff's Wife