My Mini-Jeff

I am on the eve of awaiting test results, valiantly attempting to not self-medicate with the Halloween candy in my pantry.  Instead I am reflecting on my youngest son.  This is easy since I just had his start of the school year parent teacher conference and I was struck again by how much he is a "mini-Jeff".  And I don't just mean how much he looks like Jeff but also in his personality and in his disorder.

What struck me in the conversation was her comment on him being a "bull in a china shop... but then he is genuinely sweet and apologetic as he tries to fix what he broke or knocked down."

That pretty much sums up Jeff as well.  Those of you who knew him are thinking of your favorite "Jeff story" where he broke something of yours and then fixed it.  We all have them.

Jeff could be clumsy, impulsive, and rather reckless but it always turned out in the end. The same can be said for my youngest.  I nicknamed J2 "crash" after he lost his front teeth at 3 years old and then broke the fake teeth the following year.  Because of the Sensory Processing Disorder he does not have a sense of where his body is in relationship to walls, furniture, people, the floor, etc.  He falls down a lot.  He crashes into things a lot.  He breaks stuff a lot.  He bowls people over a lot.

Jeff was driving his friend BT's grill to his new house.  The grill was in the back of Jeff's truck and not secured because "we weren't going very far" when Jeff decided very impulsively to show me the road where he crashed his car when he was 16.  The sharp right turn caused the grill to head left and smash across 2 lanes of traffic.  Jeff then proceeded, sheepishly, to collect all the pieces and then cobble the grill together when we arrived at the house (because all the friends involved in the move were to be fed their reward dinner off the grill, LOL).

Jeff never intended to destroy things... just as J2 doesn't intent to crash into people and objects.  But it still happens.  The saving grace for the two of them is how they react after the destruction.

Jeff always had a smile and a laugh and a good nature about his misadventures.  He would accept responsibility and then do his darnedest to right the wrong and he often could.  His friends and family accepted this as part of his nature.  Something of yours was going to break when Jeff arrived.  You just lived with it.  Jeff could enter a room and knock over a lamp and 3 picture frames and you wouldn't mind.

J2 pops up off the ground with a chipper "I OK!" and sometimes adds in the "I sorry!"  always with a bright happy smile.  He then works hard to fix and repair what he crashed into.  It is so Jeff that it makes me smile and gives me hope that he will integrate well into the world. 

We all accepted Jeff's quirks and loved him for it.  I have faith the same will happen for J2.

Sincerely,

Jeff's Wife and J2's Momma